In Keeping with the Mother's Day Tradition

So, I hate sappy things. A LOT.  Sometimes Steve does sappy things just to make me uncomfortable.  I hate it.  Anyway, I'm sure you can all imagine how I feel about Mother's Day.  Which is why I only send cards that somewhat traumatize my mom and may at times border on inappropriate, but I think these cards build character.  Occasionally, Steve has to say things like, "Maybe your mom won't appreciate that as much as you do."  Around Mother's Day a few years ago I decided to confess some of my childhood stories that my mom was unaware of because she's over 1200 miles away and caller ID is standard now.  Plus, there's that whole statute of limitations thing.  So in keeping with that tradition, I present to you the failed attempt to teach her children manners.

As a kid I used to burp a lot and it was mostly to bother my mom because I felt that it was my job to terrorize her.  I once told her that God told me that was my whole job on earth and I'm sure you can figure out how that went down.  She always got after me for my bad manners, but the thing is that I was very well-behaved at other people's houses and usually ate better than some of their kids.  In fact, I usually only burped with friends when there was some kind of contest to be won.  However, my mom decided that the three youngest children needed an intervention and used the guise of FHE to implement it.  This is what it was:

Eddie Cat as in etiquette, not a man dressed as a cat named Eddie.  I felt so deceived.  So one deceit deserved another.  My mom thought she had this genius plan of making us watch the video before we could get our treat of Moose bars, which are essentially the poor man's version of Creamies popsicles.  What my mom had not planned on was someone coming to the door.  Our house was a split level with the TV downstairs, meaning that my mom had to go upstairs to answer the door.  I took the opportunity to start fast forwarding through the movie.  As soon as I heard her coming back down the stairs, I hit play and sat back on the couch.  About 10 minutes after she got back the movie ended to which she replied, "That was shorter than I thought it would be."  To deflect her comment, I immediately said it was time for our Moose Bars and that was that.  Every time I saw that tape on the shelf after that I laughed to myself about how I outsmarted my mom for a popsicle.  Moral of the story: Never get between a Sears kid and their treats.  That's serious business.