The Nerd Burglar

So Megan has been gone for the past week in St. George visiting her sister and will continue to be gone for the next week, proving that things really do fall apart without her here. Dirty clothes all over the place, grocery bags on the kitchen floor from when I got some groceries earlier in the week, pile full of dirty dishes, empty containers of various microwavable foods (I can cook I've just been busy), and I somehow also managed to get our credit card number stolen. Go me.

The thief racked up about $600 of computer parts from various online sites and a $90 order from proflowers.com. I postulated the following scenarios: 1.A criminal nerd was trying to woo his female nerd counter part. 2. Said criminal nerd was trying to keep his Mom from kicking him out of the basement by buying her flowers.

Just having a lazy Sunday now being bored that Megan's gone and I'm not furiously studying for my Neuroscience test (it was Friday). I also had a test on Wednesday where we had to show one of the doctors in the family medicine department that we knew how to do a physical exam. The doctor said that I did well, except for one thing. Apparently after I checked sensation in the legs I tested the knee jerk reflex crouching down (wasn't thinking). The doctor said if the patient had overactive reflexes I might just get a swift kick in my vulnerable parts (not exactly how he put it, but family might be reading this.)

Please Don't Feed the Cat Junk Food

Our little friend Charlie the cat has turned out to be quite the troublemaker. I thought having an inside pet would be a piece-o-cake. Lies, all lies. Last Sunday I took a 45 minute nap and was awakened by the cupboards opening. When I went out to investigate I discovered that he had tried to open them and even tried to break into my butter dish. If it has salt or meat, he turns into a monster to try and eat it. He even climbed up my arms to try and steal my grilled cheese sandwich the other day (Steve overheard it while I was talking to him on the phone and I think he may have thought the cat won).

We have also discovered that he likes junk food. If you drop a piece of popcorn you should not even bother trying to pick it up because Charlie will not only get it before you do, but he will also "inadvertently" bite you with his four remaining fangs. And, as it turns out, it doesn't matter if you hold the popcorn bowl up in the air while sitting on the couch because he can stretch his neck far enough that he can still steal the popcorn from you.

Well, for some reason Steve seems to think that this gives him license to give the kitty food since he is going to steal it anyway. While watching General Conference today I was snacking on a bag of Corn Nuts. Later I found out that Steve was biting them into little pieces to FEED THEM TO MY KITTY!!! Steve will be demoted to litter duty until further notice.

The Big Easy

Steve and I decided to plan a vacation to New Orleans for his spring break since it is only a 7 hour drive and neither of us had ever been. The drive there wasn't too bad until I started noticing that I was getting kind of itchy. By the time we got there my lip was starting to swell, so I figured I would take some Benadryl and go to bed. Well, upon awaking Sunday morning my lip had quadrupled in size and when I looked in the mirror I startled myself before realizing that it was me. Not only was my upper lip so large that it covered up my bottom lip, but my cheeks looked like a hound dog. We decided to pay a visit to the ER and by the time we got there I had broken out in hives from head to foot. Steve wanted to know if I wanted him to take pictures to document it. I said no, so you will be spared the graphic visual aide.

Our favorite part of our trip was a swamp tour. It was quite fun and I had no idea how many pretty flowers grow in a swamp. The guide showed us houses (worth in the MILLIONS) along the banks where alligators will sun themselves. I would not pay that kind of money to have a pet-eater in my backyard. The best part, though, was Steve and I getting to hold/pet a BABY ALLIGATOR!

We also enjoyed a ghost history tour that took us through the Garden District of fancy-pants houses owned by people like Sandra Bullock, John Goodman and one that Nicholas Cage recently sold. We were a little disappointed by the caliber of ghost stories, but I think we may have been expecting something a little more morbid that what we got. I blame Hitchcock and Stephen King for that. They set my expectations way too high.

The cemetery tour we took was quite interesting as we've never seen one full of tombs above ground. We saw a tomb with Degas' family, the Voodoo Queen and Homer Plessy from the famous court case of Plessy vs. Ferguson. Apparently, you are supposed to bring an offering to the Voodoo Queen's tomb if you want your wish to come true, so I guess ours will not be granted because we didn't give her anything.

Our last day had some comical moments that made Steve and I realize that we are not very good people sometimes. We were waiting outside the Acme Oyster House because I wanted to go back for the fried catfish and shrimp, so I figured it would be worth the wait and it was. But mostly because this guy who was kind of a jerk was a few people back and got POOPED on by a bird. Normally I try to hold my laughter in until a more appropriate moment, but this time I couldn't. Awesomeness. After dinner, we walked to the New Orleans Hornets vs. Phoenix Suns game.

We happened to be sitting by a lady and her 4 or 5 year old daughter that CONSTANTLY climbed over us. Needless to say, we were very annoyed and then the universe swooped in with sweet justice.

The mother had left her nachos sitting on the arm of the chair and upon returning she knocked them onto her and sat on them before realizing that her daughter was screaming at her for sitting on the nachos. We started laughing and then I leaned over and said, "I think if Jenn and Aaron were here we would be laughing even harder." Or maybe it's just genetic (even though we know Mom will argue that it's not).

The Raccoon in Our Apartment

This week I caught it red handed with the bag of marshmallows that Megan had used to make some rice crispy treats earlier in the week. It actually isn't a raccoon, its our cat Charlie. But he might as well be a raccoon. In addition to constantly fighting him away from the garbage, this week we caught him up on the kitchen counter attempting to get into the butter container. I actually kind of like catching him doing things because he is super jumpy like Megan. Usually I'll sneak up on him and see how high I can get him to jump when I scare him. It's usually about a foot to a foot in a half. I guess all his antics are okay because that's how we stay entertained and how I justify teasing him unmercifully.

Here is him walking on 2 legs and chasing a lazer:

K-Assault

We've actually been meaning to start blogging, but seeing as how we are lazy bottoms it has taken us months to get around to it. So here is our first blog, which hopefully will not set the standard for future posts. Steve and I often have pretty boring lives, but once every blue moon we have a story worth writing about. And here it is.

So, I became a substitute teacher back in September when I couldn't find a job after relocating to Texas. Fourth and fifth grade are usually my favorites, but every once in awhile I will accept a kindergarten or first grade job if nothing else is available. This past Friday I decided to go back to a kindergarten class that I had taught about a month before knowing that there are some students who can be quite the handful. Much to my surprise, the behavior of one student had worsened significantly in that past month. Let's be honest, what kind of kindergartener ends up in ISS (in-school suspension)? Well my friends, this one.

The principal had already paid us a visit to let him know that he needed to make good choices, otherwise, it was back to the "cooler." Well, he decided to tell a student he hated her and when I told him that was not a nice thing to say in school he grabbed my arms and proceeded to yell in my face in hopes that it would convince me of his argument (keep in mind that this student is the size of a fourth grader and is at LEAST two-thirds my size). He wouldn't let go of my arms and tried to rip the phone out of my hands while I tried to call the office. When that didn't work he kept pushing buttons on the phone until I gave up and used the emergency button to call the office. For some reason, he thought it would be a good idea to cover my mouth (as if that would really keep me from telling the principal), but instead he hit me in the face. Needless to say, he was dragged literally kicking and screaming from the classroom by not only the vice principal, but also the principal. His teacher and mother received lovely detailed notes about the encounter. And I decided I will beat my future-children's bottoms if they ever do that. The end.